I just remember what i wanted to blog about when Gabriel woke up and talk to me about CGs...

I guess that, a Christian Journey is really a seasonal thing. We always go in and out of a certain season, be it as a church, as a zone, as a CG or as an individual. We go through different things, different situations to grow in different areas, to let God deal with areas in our lifes that needs changes. At one period, my life was all about recognition, so i got to grow out of that, then the next, it was all about friends, but now, i feel, and not just me, but alot of my leaders and friends, that it's the season of breakthrough. I'm going through one of my toughest times in my Christian walk so far, where there are so many things in my life that i have to deal with, things i didn't thought about so much before.
People come in and out of my life easily, and sometimes, it's hard not to get influenced during the exchanges in speech, but what keeps me going, is knowing that, God put me through all these test, all these struggles, is to really test, and strengthen me on the inside.
Not just about strengthening my insides, but correcting my heart, and moulding it to be the way it should to be more Christ-like. A season of challenges, a season of test, and a season of constant breakthrough. My heart will be moulded, and i'll find my true destiny after this season, and i know that for sure. =) As for church wide, whenever i talk to Garrett and Wendy, they will always tell me that, our church is now going through season of weeding, where God takes out people, takes out things in our lifes, and see if we are able to cope with it or not. This is the season for the whole church to strengthen up, and after this, the next season is to breakthrough... As people start having breakthrough throughout the church, one by one, people will start growing, and as a whole church, we will really rise up. A church is made up by the people in it, so as we grow one by one, it means slowly, one by one, people start changing in some parts of the church and slowly, every part of the church has grown to a whole new level, and then things will start happening again.
I think that, it's really cycle season, something like in our natural world, where we have summer, spring, autumn, winter, and it will go back in a cycle. So what i meant is like, we will always go into the season of weeding once again. I think this is sort of like a revelation to me, such that i'll always be prepared to go into the battle to stay on this fight for God.... well, hope this helps. =) If any of you don't understand any parts, just ask me. I'll try my best to explain again. =)

Woah man, just felt like blogging a little today.



So many things have happened in my life since the start of this year. So so so fast, and it's already going to be the end of March already. Time really flies don't you think? Haha, there's just so much that has happen, and i don't know where to start from. But, to begin with, i won't even talk about everything that has happened... haha...
Well, first of to start this post, what i really want to do is to give thanks to God who have blessed me with good results while serving Him and building his kingdom. I got a 3.458 for this sem that have just passed, without really really studying a lot as i was really busying myself quite a bit. I'll use times that i'm free to really study, so dun accuse me of not studying. Haha. =)


Since the start of this year, i've known so much more people, and have really drawn closer to some people, whereas there is the opposite of things where i may have already forgotten some people, or that some distance may have been created between me and some of my friends. Things have been added on to me, and i've been trying to expand my capacity to really be able to handle things, what i can really say is, i'm tired, since the beginning of this year, till now, i'm really tired. I'm holding on to the one thing that i really look forward to the most, which is to be ministered to by God. I'm just waiting for God to say, "Well done, My son". What may have not realised is, God have been and always will be, beside me, saying exactly the thing that i have typed, thing is, i have never once slowed down, never once stay stilled to give God a chance to say it straight to me. I think sometimes we think things are so important that we run and continue running without stopping to take a break and speak to God, afraid that this break might cause something to fall or fail. But this isn't how God works. God really just wants us to run to Him with our problems, to run to Him to share with him like how a little kid would run home when something happens to seek comfort from his/her dad. This is how God wants us to be... God bothered, He bothered,to save us from our sins by sending Jesus, His one and only Son, to die for us on the cross, but are we bothered to stop, to listen, to accept that He is real... I think the word is bothered. If we really bother, i think great things can be done, if we bother, we will begin to know God more, if we bother, insecurities in people will be erased...

Things have really changed since the beginning of this year. First up, there's been a restructure recently... Well, I'm still in the same CG, so not much change for me. I want to grow, I want to be able to be a support to people, to pastors to leaders in the church. I want to leave this independant stage and be God dependant. I feel that i'm a person who knows how to say, but no actions are taking place. I really want to be a person who last this race with God's strength, to have revelations to share with people, and know how to lead my kids better, know how to get to the next point in life and know how to GROW!
I feel very tired too recently, but there is no better solution that i can think of, but ask for revelations from God, I have friends around me, great friends, but in the end, i still need revelations from God to run, to leave my weariness with Him and continue running. I can't let everything go just cause i'm tired or that i have issues. I'll just have to learn to cope as i run. I pray that i will really grow after this period. I really pray for a change of mindset, a refreshed physical body, and a renewed heart. A renewed passions for the kids... I've lost some of the things i was holding on to and things i was happy that i had. Out of all those things, what i really want is to really have the heart for the kids back, so that i'll be able to run, for the kids, and stay strong in God. and now that i know that God is a yes-God, things will start to happen all over again. I know this year will still be great. =)

GROW!!!


It's really a rough start of the year for me, and i really don't know how long this internal struggle within me will continue, but i guess i'll just have to endure it down till the end and ask for help along the way, as much as i can.


"So i lift my eyes to You Lord
In Your strength will i breakthrough Lord..."